


And once it's started it's so tricky to stop

by mypropeller



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Alex is not sure what he wants or what he's doing, Boys Kissing, Denial of Feelings, EYCTE era, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Miles is, Secret love, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Surrealistically making out immediately, as smutty as I dare to, discovering feelings for each other, milex - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mypropeller/pseuds/mypropeller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex Turner and Miles Kane, who have been friends for a remarkably long time, discover there's something new between them that is yet to be discovered. Love, one might call it, and as the two are alone together the tension falls over the edge.<br/>Once the sweet pleasures are discovered it's impossible to turn back time and as the passion and desire grows, the situation becomes more and more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys!  
> This is basically another more or less cheap idea of how our favourites could come to discover the love that, we know it all, sleeps there somewhere inside of them :D  
> I am just starting off and I'll simply see where it takes me.  
> As English is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes there might be in advance.  
> This is also my first fic ever, so go easy on me, please :D 
> 
> The story needs a little build-up, so this first chapter is mainly thoughts and explanation. Still, I think I got straight to the point pretty quickly. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this. Just have as much fun reading as I had writing!

It was late afternoon and hot – not too unusual for L.A. at that time of the year, but when Alex opened the door to his backyard, a beautiful place home to the pool and a bar, he was nearly knocked out by the massive wall of heat welcoming him. 

So there he stood, dressed in nothing but his black silk boxers, his dark hair a curly mess, holding his hand against the sun to protect his face when his phone made a noise. A message. 

Actually unwilling to care who it came from or what that person wanted, curiosity overwhelmed him and he went back to the table to read it.

It was from Miles, saying ‘Coming over, CU then, x’. Alex smirked; Miles never bothered to ask whether Alex was alright with that, knowing well he was. Their friendship had reached that kind of stage where one person would know if the other was up to something.

The two men were usually extremely comfortable around each other, yet lately there was a little difference to be felt when they were together, or rather together alone. Not quite sure what reason it could have and also not sure if he wanted to know at all, Alex decided to occupy himself with something else. 

Taylor had gone to work this morning while he’d still been sleeping, so there was no one around to talk to. Wandering around without any destination he finally went to prepare some Margaritas. Something to brighten the mood and ease the tension, he thought. 

As he was just about to put the ice into the shaker, the doorbell rang. Miles. 

“Hey!” He had brought a bottle of wine and tried to give Alex the usual bro hug, whose response was halfhearted and stiff. 

“Something wrong?” Miles asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“Just woke up … ‘m a little tired, that’s it. Margarita?”

“Of course!” Miles responded enthusiastically. When Alex used the shaker, he looked at him, a little uncertain what to say and also a little embarrassed about the direction his thoughts went in when he saw Alex doing that particular motion. Happily enough, it was over and Alex started to pour the liquid into the glasses.

“Where’s Taylor?” Miles asked when they sat outside drinking after a little conversation about some new records, third round of Margaritas in their hands. 

“She’s at work. Won’t be home till tomorrow.” 

“So it’s just you and me then, Turner…” Miles pointed out. 

“Well…yeah, obviously…some more drinks? Mine’s empty already.” These words said, Alex emptied the rest of his Margarita with one gulp and stood up to escape the dubious aura. 

“Coming with you.”

Alex turned around, but before he could ask his friend what else he wanted to drink, he was pinned to the wall by that particular Scouser’s strong arms. He was confused because he’d only been in a situation like that once before, but the other person had been female and he had been the one pinning. The surprise widened his brown eyes to an uncomfortable degree and he was perplex as Miles’ gaze met his and fixed it right there. 

“Alexander David Turner. Excuse me. I want you.”

“Wha-“ was as much as Alex could respond before his soft lips where met by Miles’, who pulled him in for a hard and greedy kiss. 

Much to his own surprise, he didn’t even think of defying himself for one moment; on the contrary; he returned the kiss eagerly and savored it to its full extent. As the soft sensation of what was currently happening was flowing through him he realized that this was what he wanted – being consumed by that younger boy. 

At this very moment, everything was alright, just now there was an entanglement beneath the kitchen counter without any traces of doubt, guilt or fear, it consisted of pure lust and excitement. Alex felt like in a trance, he barely thought about anything and he loved it. This was due to the fact that moments without galore mental activity were really rare for him. That was another reason why he liked drugs so much; they; especially alcohol, made him more uninhibited than he would ever be. Never letting go of each other, the two men went to the nearest place to lie down, which in this case was the couch. 

Entwined in each other, they lay there for what felt like an eternity, still too occupied with sampling the pleasures of kissing to go any further. 

Alex’s speculations that Miles was a good kisser were hereby more than confirmed and as he thought about what an incredibly good lover Miles had to be, kissing like that, his whole body and mind filled with arousal and anticipation about the fact that he would be the one to taste from Kane’s lake of libido.

Yes, the best was yet to come. Was it too soon?

The Northerner quickly dropped that thought as his new lover’s lean hand wandered down his back and squeezed his backside.

“This, to be honest, is something I’ve always wanted to do.” Miles admitted and a chuckle followed. Alex simply smirked and wondered why Miles had waited so long when he pulled him back in for a long and passionate kiss.

“D’ya…maybe…want to go to the bedroom?” Miles asked hesitantly and yet confident.

Without having to answer, Alex stood up first as he was the one on top. On the way to his bedroom he went to the bathroom and rinsed his hot face with cold water.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he realized what he was currently doing and what he was just about to do. 

‘What is this?’ he silently wondered. Confusion? No, he was still sober enough to take responsibility for his own actions – and to know pretty clear what he wanted. If he was completely honest with himself, this was exactly what he lusted for, he had never felt any more excited in his whole life. 

As he went out again and closed the door behind himself, any notion of doubt vanished as he saw Miles standing there with his tight leather pants and the shirt half unbuttoned, eyes wild and his mouth a crooked smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home alone, Alex and Miles explore their sexuality? Well yeah, that's basically it. Sorry for that. 
> 
> Summaries are tough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys!
> 
> Apparently, I don't seem to be one for a lot of words, so the two get it on pretty quickly. Yup, that's totally realistic. At least in my sadly pathetic mind. But you don't mind, do you?
> 
> As you might be able to notice, I have a hard time writing anything smutty, so I managed to get through the sexual interactions without any strong words. I'm so prude.  
> Subtlety is the key!
> 
> Also, Alex really struggles during this and I'm sorry for making it so long, but I felt like I really had to capture what goes on inside of him (pun not intended). 
> 
> I had a good laugh writing this and I'm also sorry. For the whole thing. This is so bad. I need to get a life.
> 
> Enjoy!

As he went out again and closed the door behind himself, any notion of doubt vanished as he saw Miles standing there with his tight leather pants and the shirt half unbuttoned, eyes wild and his mouth a crooked smile.

Alex had always been conscious of that prickling aura surrounding Miles Kane, but he had never allowed himself a second thought in that direction. 

(…) 

A few moments later, the boys were to be found in the huge bed in Alex’s bedroom. 

Again they were entwined in each other, while they hadn’t even bothered to keep on their clothes. Working the other one’s pants off playfully had just been too much fun. The last thing to land on the floor had been the older one’s silk boxers. 

Their breathing was incredibly heavy already, the two naked bodies pulsing with lust and anticipation, a bubble consisting of excitement and tension blown around them. 

Alex’s hand reached out to the drawer to get some protection, but his trembling fingers weren’t able to find what they were looking for. Where had he put that damn box? Always there when there was no use for it, but never to be found when actually needed. Maybe in the drawer on the left side of the bed? 

“Miles…” he whispered into his friend’s ear softly “Could you get the…?” he gestured towards the drawer. 

“What?” the younger man responded kindly, but just then he understood what he was asked for and managed to get a condom out, shaking no less than his lover, nervous as he was. 

He’d done this same thing countless times, but as different as this was, it felt like the first time ever. 

As soon as everything was in place, and it had certainly taken its time with the constant teasing distractions from Alex, who had not once let his hands rest in one place of the other man’s body, Miles leaned down to his lover, placing his arms next to Alex’s shoulders. 

Alex’s gaze wandered around those muscular arms and chest, down to Miles’s center of lust, from where it immediately went away again. The man below blushed, but as soon as Miles’s eyes found his, shyness was overwhelmed by that burning passion that had slept inside of him for so long and he pulled the Scouser in for a tense and sloppy kiss.

When they parted, Alex started stroking Miles’s back, keen to absorb every square millimeter that he got to feel, when suddenly a lightning of pain shot through his body, making his mouth fall open and his throat make an unfamiliarly high-pitched noise.  
The ache, though, was soon pushed aside by pure arousal, working its way more and more up to the top. 

This was unlike everything Alex had ever experienced and he felt everything and nothing at the same time.

He had a hard time keeping his eyes open but he wanted to watch Miles on top of him, buried inside of him.

Both drunk from finally satisfied desire, which the two had, even though unconsciously, grieved for for such a long time, they were moving to a silent rhythm that only they could hear.

He was unable to contain himself any longer at all, so a little scratchy moan escaped Alex’s throat as his tense fists pressed to the sheets. 

This wasn’t going to last much longer and even though he wished for this moment to take forever, he looked forward to the release.

Miles’s slender index finger traced an invisible line down Alex’s chest to a point where the playful touching was the sweetest torture one could imagine. 

Miles murmured something and then he dug his fingers into the flesh of his lover’s hips desperately as he arched his back and let out a noise which might have sounded like a scream if it hadn’t been for the sinful sound of satisfying passion filling it.

The sight of Miles at his climax, seeing the Scouser completely dissolving into pleasure, was exactly what Alex needed to be pushed ultimately over the edge, too. 

The pressure that had been built up over the past minutes made the bomb explode, leaving nothing but numb satisfaction. All his muscles relaxed and Alex’s vision faded to black. 

Miles lay in his arm and had his arm clenched around the Northerner’s waist, his fingers gently stroking the soft skin beneath them. 

The following minutes the only sound filling the room was the heavy breathing from both of them. 

Eyes still closed, Alex waited for their heart beats to return back to a normal pace. 

When the trance was over, he noticed something wet on his rosy cheek. Confused and yet curious he let his agile tongue flicker on the wet spot on his face. He tasted something very strange to him. The soft sensation flowing through him as he realized what there was to taste was incredible. 

Too worn out to get his thoughts clear he decided to just fall asleep like this, sweaty in the sheets, Miles next to him.

(…)

Alex woke when the sun made its way through the gap between the curtains and he felt a warm, gentle sensation on his face. Blinking his weary eyes, unaware of where he was, he looked around. When he found Miles next to him, he flinched. 

The memory of the previous night found its way through his misty mind back to his consciousness. He had to grin as he examined his sleeping friend, knowing too well what they had done together. 

And he’d enjoyed it, even though he knew he shouldn’t.

The love between them had finally revealed its real nature and Alex was honestly confused about it. But thrilled too, he had to admit. 

(…)

Miles stood outside on the balcony with Alex and blew his coffee. They shared a cigarette in the heat of the morning, looking around the busy city. Both really wanted to get things straight but no one dared to say a word, suspecting the topic better to be left untouched.

Finally Alex managed to start the conversation with an insecure “Erm…”

Miles turned his gaze to him, raising his eyebrows. 

Alex ran his hand through his hair, looking down. 

“What is it, Al?” Miles encouraged him to speak on. 

“The question’s rather … what is this?” Alex looked the other man directly in the eyes. “I mean I’m not sure if this is … you know like … the right thing? Mi, you’ve done something to me that …” he stammered “Apparently, I …” he lost himself in his thoughts, looking around as if the words he was looking for were flying around somewhere. 

Miles slowly stepped towards him, organizing his thoughts. He ended up knowing only one way to clarify the circumstances. 

He found himself ruffling the older one’s hair, who had his arms clasped around him, snogging as if there was no tomorrow. He inhaled smoke and coffee and Alex, whose sweet scent made him frantic with lust now that he was so close to him again.

Alex himself had been taken by surprise by Miles kissing him again. A surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He felt the passion and lust rise in him once again and he realized that there was no need to talk; the actions spoke for themselves. 

They made their way back in, never letting go of each other, unwilling to interrupt something that felt so incredibly good. Both were all over each other. 

The phone rang. Judging by the ring tone, Alex’s. He let out a long sigh when he separated his lips from Miles’s. “Taylor…” he murmured, feeling a little caught. “Gotta pick up, ‘m sorry, Mi.” He took a deep breath.

“Morning sweetheart!” it came from the other end of the line. 

“Morning, love.” Alex answered. “How are you?”

“Everything alright. I’m on my way home right now.”

“Are you?” Alex immediately sat up, leaving Miles confused.

“Yes. I just wanted to tell you. I’ll be there in about ten minutes. Do you need something from the shops, Al?”

“No, but thanks.” He cleared his throat. “Till then, darling!”

Without noticing the forced friendly tone Taylor said goodbye and the line was dead. 

Alex immediately cursed himself for not having asked Taylor to bring something from the shops. He could’ve won some time. “Taylor’s coming”, was all he said. His earnest facial expression from moments ago had turned into a worried one. Resigned would be a really kind word to describe the state they were in. Disappointment filled the air as they got dressed. Miles decided that it would be better to leave. 

“See you, Alex”, hand already on the doorknob, he turned around one last time, leaned down to Alex and kissed him passionately. The kiss lasted much longer than intended. 

Giving his lover a last longing look, Miles slipped out of the door and drove away. Not one moment too soon. 

Alex was greeted with a gentle wide smile as a particularly long pair of legs swung through the door. Trying to look equally as happy as his girlfriend, he pulled her in for a kiss. 

It did feel good, no doubt about that, but there also was a feeling of guilt inside of him, scraping against the back of his mind. Small. But no matter how small the sting in your foot is, you will still be able to feel it. 

This, kissing, was nothing exclusive anymore and the person he was kissing was not the one he would have preferred at that moment, admittedly. 

Taylor put her bags on the counter. “Glad to be back, Al. Honestly, that job really fucks me up sometimes … “, she said as her gaze wandered around the room. It rested where the two glasses from the night before stood. “How did you spend your time last night?” she asked.

“What?” Alex had been completely lost in his thoughts. 

“You look a little decomposed”, Taylor giggled. “What is it? I asked you what you did last night. Did someone come over?”

“Erm, ye- … yeah” Alex cleared his throat “Uhm, Miles was there.” He decided he had nothing to lose saying that. Taylor knew too well how close they were. Close only like friends, nevertheless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I think Alex will avoid Miles in the future, they will definitely meet again soon - we'll just see how that goes. Torn apart between sanity and passion?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading :D I'm new to this so I'd love to hear anyone's opinion, constructive criticism...whatever. Have a good one!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avoiding Miles seems to be a good strategy for Alex.
> 
> Not for long, evidently and they meet again at a party. 
> 
> Things ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry that I haven't updated for so long. I just wasn't sure where I would take it and did not have any spare time left, so hopefully this is now the right thing to write. 
> 
> Sorry about the summary too, though :D 
> 
> This builds up to something more and I hope it'll work out and also that this doesn't disappoint.
> 
> So let's not waste too many words and let the boys have fun....Alex has a hard time being sure what he wants, but I think it becomes clear in the end.
> 
> Have fun!

The next morning Alex woke up finding a scenario comfortably familiar to him.

The rising sun shredding light on the white sheets and a blonde sleeping person curled up next to him, a peaceful and content look on her face. 

This was the way it was ought to be.

God, what he had done with Miles. Thinking about it afterwards, it just seemed kinky and inappropriate. Alex refused to simply think about the way it had felt, irrespective of the external circumstances. The Scouser had made him feel alive in an entirely new way to him, he had given him a feeling of … he had to stop thinking about it!

So Alex tried to concentrate on what he had with Taylor. It was, indeed, special. It was deep. As deep as his bound with Miles? Miles, who apparently always found his way back to Alex’s thoughts, no matter how many others he tried to bury the thought of him under. 

Looking at the tattoo on his right arm, he thought of the person he loved and wanted to be with. Actually … it had to be her. Solely her. 

The days went past and Alex tried to think about anything but Miles. He ignored the text messages coming from his friend, hoping he would get the hint and understand that Alex didn’t want his company right now. 

Taylor addressed the fragile subject once, but the simple explanation from Alex that Miles did not come over due to his tight schedule was enough. It simply was like that sometimes.

(…)

He was on his way to Josh’s on Friday when he realized that Josh could have invited Miles to come over, too. And he most probably had.

Alex briefly considered the option of just driving home again, but then decided that he would go through with this. If he just played his usual cool self, what did it matter?

He would be able to talk to Miles normally if he had to. But the fact that he and Miles usually were inseparable would make him look suspicious if he avoided him. 

Why did he even have to think about this?

Miles was there and they both said their hellos as if nothing had ever happened. Soon Alex got engaged in a conversation and the tension began to fade as the time passed, even though he still tried really hard to escape Miles’s gaze. 

Later on in the evening Alex headed out to the corridor. But a particular someone took his opportunity and followed him. 

Miles came straight to the point. “Why have you been ignoring me, Alex?”

Alex looked away, to escape the situation and honestly also for not having to look at Miles; his lean body, familiar facial features and generally appealing appearance. 

But the younger man did not even think of letting Alex avoid this and so he faced him and put his hands on the other one’s shoulders. “Look at me!” he said calmly, but decidedly.

And so Alex did. Visibly annoyed, he raised his dark but feathery brows. 

“Look...” Miles looked around to see if anybody was watching. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. On the contrary, I … I just thought you wanted it, too. Seemed like it, though.”

While Miles was talking, Alex couldn’t help but stare at those lips, his real desire so painfully present in front of him. He took a deep breath. 

“I did, then … but it’s just not right, you know? I were drunk and …” 

Miles interrupted him “What exactly is wrong with it? With something you and I want … and enjoy.”

“I’ve got a girl, Mi.” was all Alex could answer back. Hell, why could he not stay consistent with his attitude towards Miles? Alex struggled with protesting believably just as he saw him standing there, a demanding expression on his face, licking his lips, waiting for an explanation.

It was unbearable. Hesitantly, both men slowly leaned further, closing the distance between them. The kiss was soft and gentle first.

And for Alex it was the painful confirmation that it had not all been a drunk mistake, led by utter confusion, as he found himself wanting more, eagerly kissing his friend, grabbing him tightly. 

“Alex?” 

The two men parted instantaneously like a pair of suddenly homopolar magnets when Josh came around the corner. One could only hope he hadn’t seen them. 

“Oh, Miles”, Josh said as he noticed Alex not being alone. “What were you guys doing here?” he asked “Forbidden things, it seems … I always knew you two had something going on!” Josh joked and broke into laughter. The two had no chance but to simply join. 

“Yes” Miles agreed as he patted Alex on the shoulder “We two make an exceptionally good couple, don’t we, darling?” he chuckled. 

Alex pulled himself together and thereby his mask on. “Indeed, love” he added with a clearly sarcastic, but not dismissive undertone. 

“What about we go grab some more drinks? The party has just begun. Come on, guys!” Josh motivated them. He had not been serious in any kind of way, it seemed. Alex let out a small sigh. 

So they returned to the main room, which was buzzing with people and the bass. The room was big, there were small groups of people chatting over the loud music on the tables, sipping on their drinks and having fun and a considerably huge area in the middle was crowded with people dancing. 

Alex sat on the bar talking to Josh and Miles was about five meters away, back in the conversation he’d previously been in. Yet, when Alex eyed him from across the room, he clearly wasn’t listening too much to what the brunette girl next to him was saying. He scratched his nose, lowered his head and gave Alex a mischievous grin. They held eye contact and Alex followed his friend’s gaze. It wandered down his body, carefully observing his jeans shirt and dark pleat-front trousers that sat tightly around his …

“Do you think that would be a good thing to do?” Josh’s question let him snap out of his bubble.

He tried to recollect what Josh had been talking about. “Uhm … er … I think … yeah.”

The evening went on and so the level of alcohol in Alex’s circulation. He was drunk, drunk enough to dance. He walked around to Miles, on the way clinging on to one or two people not to lose his balance as he already slowly swayed his hips to the beat. He grabbed Miles’ hand and led him to the dancefloor. 

They danced closely sometimes, and then other times they danced separately, but still facing each other, and shouted the lyrics in their faces. Nearly as it had always been.

(…)

Alex did not know how they had landed in their current situation, all he knew when he locked the bathroom door behind himself was that he was excited about what was to come. 

With a loud thud he was pinned to the door, Miles’ arms already wrapped around his body while Alex had his arms around his neck. 

When he heard his belt being unbuckled by his friend’s unoccupied hand he jerked his hips forward without even being able to control it. He separated his lips from Miles’ and buried his face in the Scouser’s neck, giving him goose bumps by breathing heavily against his skin.

Alex returned the favor of removing the clothes and when said remarkably complicated procedure (Miles was wearing a pair of white tight jeans) was complete, he watched his friend fall to his knees, intrigued by the sight. 

He ruffled the younger one’s hair as Miles started to swallow him. He clinged onto the sink and the doorknob. Had Miles done this before? 

Alex had his eyes closed, fully enjoying the sensation. He got more and more worked up and saw himself coming closer to the edge when suddenly, Miles pulled off. 

With a devilish grin he stood up and looked at Alex, who was confused. And a little disappointed to be taken from his little cloud so suddenly. 

“What was that?” he blurted out and wanted to complain but he was shut up by Miles kissing him senseless again and picking him up just to let him down on the sink again. 

He shivered when he felt the cold porcelain against his skin. 

The sudden interjection of the blowjob had thus been only a witty move from Miles to make Alex even more eager to go on. He saw through it, but that didn’t mean he didn’t buy into it. Alex was Miles’ completely.

Being taken in a bathroom by Miles Kane was the last thing Alex would have expected to be doing soon just a couple of days ago, but now it felt like the only thing to satisfy him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> There's so many things I'm playing around with in my head but they never quite turn out the way I want them to.
> 
> Again, I hope you enjoyed :) More is to come!  
> And, as always, feedback is highly appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She’d had her suspicions and he’d had his excuses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> So this took like forever, I am so sorry :) but still, here it is, hopefully at least a little satisfying.  
> Also! 505 Hits! That's incredible, thank you so much :D   
> Normal people are actually sleeping at 3am, while I am ... well, yeah, you'll see the result.  
> Not much hot stuff this time, but I think a chapter like this is also a good choice as too two-dimensional characters are also just a bore. Also, I'll update as soon as possible, which, in this case will absolutely not be in the too distant future :) 
> 
> Have fun reading!

He was sitting on the settee, drink in hand, legs crossed and one foot moving to the rhythm of the vynil that was playing in the background, even though this action emerged more from nervousness than anything else.

He looked up to the clock on the kitchen wall and with each passing minute his mood got worse, he couldn’t even pin down why. Well, yes, it might just have something to do with what had happened a few hours prior.

_“Come on Alex, don’t even try to make a fool of me! Just tell me what the hell is going on!”_

_“Taylor…”_

_She’d had her suspicions and he’d had his excuses, but it was just becoming too much and now that she’d directly addressed the topic there was no going back._

_“I’m not fucking blind, you know! I  know you thought I wouldn’t notice your ‘I’m staying out late with the guys’ shit not always being the truth after a while. I talked to Matt just now. You weren’t at the fucking bar with him yesterday. Or last weekend. In fact, you haven’t met him at all lately except for when I was with you. You lied to me, you fucking lied to me! Why would you do that? I thought we …”_

_She was trembling, her anger fading away as she struggled to find more words to throw at him, tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples._

_He knew this, he’d experienced this before. And she displayed just the exact behaviour he’d expected. He didn’t want this but he knew that every wall starts to crumble sooner or later. All you can do is see if it’s worth fixing. Pick up the pieces and try to put them back in place._

_He couldn’t help himself and gave the cliché answer that is very well-known to just make everything worse._

_“It’s not how you think it is, sweet-“_

_“Don’t you dare and use pet names in a situation like this! You’re cheating on me, Al! I know it. I see it in the way you are with me, more distant. What other explanation would there be for your odd behaviour lately? So, now we’re on it, just tell me who it is. Do I know her?”_

_“Taylor” he raised his voice and took a step toward her. He started playing with her necklace while subtly caressing her soft neck in a way that would usually soothe her and took a deep breath._

_“I am not seeing another woman, honestly.” He finally got out, trying not to emphasize the word ‘woman’ in a way that would raise any more suspicions._

_But his strategy did not work and she decidedly removed his arms from her. The anger that had built up during the whole conversation still flickered in her blue eyes as she stared him down, but her voice was calm as she spoke._

_“Who tells me you’re not lying to me now?”_

_This was rather a rhetorical question than anything else._

_Alex did not have any words to defy himself with and telling the truth now seemed to be the absolute most impossible thing to do. Finding out your boyfriend is cheating one you is one thing. Finding out your boyfriend is not completely heterosexual_ and _cheating on you with his best friend is another._

_The deeply crestfallen look in her eyes told him there were no words to fix the situation just now._

_She moved away from him and started collecting some things. She was really going to leave._

_He could see how much it cost her to pull herself together as he stood there, unable to do anything but helplessly watch an important part of his life shatter into pieces. Was her leaving final?_

_“Taylor, this is not how it should end. In fact, I think …”_

_“You know what Alex, you’ve just done your very best to make it end. And I’m not staying here any longer.” She ran her hand through her extremely short hair as she slipped into her shoes._

_“Bloody ‘ell …” He wanted to do just anything to make her stay, make her understand._

_“I love you.” He said loudly. She was caught off-guard by that statement for a moment but soon again was back in her unapologetic attitude._

_“Alex. You get your shit together and better come up with a good explanation for the mess you’ve made if you want to fix any of this. I’ll be gone for a couple of days. I just need a rest from … all of this.”_

_That said, she picked up her bag and the car keys and as the door clicked shut, Alex realized this had not just been a bad dream. He still went to the window next to the door and looked outside._

_Sitting in her beloved vintage cabriolet, Taylor had buried her face in her hands and was sobbing gut-wrenchingly. He considered going out to her but he knew he could do nothing to alleviate her pain and that his presence would just make it worse._

He hated himself for having acted that way. There had been so many thoughts in his head, good explanations, calming words and all that had made it out had been the worst possible. What a fool he was. A fool thinking that this could possibly go right. A fool thinking she wouldn’t notice and being so lust-driven and lightheaded to just not care for the moment.

Why couldn’t both work together? But he had to decide. Which was the last thing he wanted.

Sitting on the settee, desperately trying to puff out decent smoke rings, he realized that he and Taylor did actually matter a lot to each other. If it weren’t that way he would not care and she would just have broken up with him immediately.

He flinched as he heard a key in the lock on the door but then remembered he had given the spare key to Miles the last time they’d met and Alex had been showering when Miles had arrived.

“Hi, Al” A familiar Scouser greeted him with a hug from behind as he whispered into his ear. “’ve missed you.”

Alex’ features briefly lit up when Miles approached him.

“Good afternoon, Mister Kane” he breathed, a little more seductively than originally intended.

“So, what are we planning on today, _Mister Turner_?” Miles smirked and as his eyes found the drink in his friend’s veiny hand, he looked at his wrist. “Drinks? Really Al? It’s barely even four o’clock.” He said, his tone somewhere between teasing and seriously concerned.

“Fuck what time it is. Let’s get drunk.” Alex stood up, took another sip and went to the record player.

“Marvin Gaye, seriously?” Miles let out a loud and contagious laugh. “George Harrison was making you a little too nostalgic, wasn’t he?” He lay his slender hands on Alex’ shoulders and then invited him to sit down on his lap.

“So now tell me.” Miles’ warm brown eyes were now serious. “What’s bothering you?”

Alex had to keep himself from losing his posture while telling Miles everything but when he was done, he felt strangely relieved. Miles understood him, he was able to comfort him in a unique way. It had taken a few drinks and a hot make out session to finally complete, but now Alex was nearly completely sure he had it all figured out; the explanation and thereby solution.

They were giggling like little boys about a random anecdote Miles had told, making silly voices and throwing cushions at each other. Alex landed on Miles’ lap, hitting him with a pillow when he suddenly stopped and looked at him. He then lay down on him and whispered into his lover’s ear.

“Thank you so much. Really, thank you. For being there and everything. You’ve almost got me convinced it’s all gonna be alright in the end. It is, isn’t it?”

A gentle hand wandering down his back was all it took to reassure him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> I absolutely know how I am going to continue this and, promised, it won't be as long until I update again.  
> Also, thanks so much for your lovely feedback, comments really make my day!
> 
> Stay tuned and have a good time :)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, sorry, nothing really much happened :D Sorry for the shortness of this, I really thought it was much more. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'll update as soon as I can, as I already have another chapter written. Suck it and see!
> 
> Also, I would be incredibly pleased to read your opinions on my work in the comments :) 
> 
> Have a nice day!


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